Chapter 7: The Plan

A rough paw clumsily drew the curtain at the tent entrance aside, and for a moment, the chubby profile of Edward the Sentry Bear was silhouetted sharply against the setting sun.  Edward bowed with the grudging grunt of a bear whose belly is a little to large for comfortable obeisance, and he moved aside to make way for the three princesses.  Carrie, Samantha, and Anna each stepped into the tent in turn, ducking slightly to avoid catching their heads on the curtain.  Ken shuffled slowly behind them.  His left leg was sticking out at an awkward angle.

Anna paused to let Ken catch up, and then she turned toward Johnny and curtsied.  "Thank you for your generous hospitality, Your Highness," she said.

The prince rose, bowed politely, and offered them a seat on a pile of velvet cushions in the corner of the tent.   It was traditional Doll Kingdom hospitality, but as the princesses sank awkwardly into the mound of foam and velvet, they wished they could have had instead the wooden chair on which Phoebe was perched in the corner. There was a moment's tussle against gravity and foam.  Arms flailed about helplessly as the girls fought to maintain a dignified distance from the floor.

"You slept well?" Johnny inquired when they had ceased struggling against the sinking pillow pile.

"Very well indeed," Anna said.  "It was the first good night's rest I have had since the Barbies overthrew Norland."

"And you?" He turned to Carrie and Samantha.  "You are feeling better?"

"Much better, thank you," Carrie replied.

"Is he alright?" Johnny gestured toward Ken who was splayed out on a cushion in the corner with his leg nearly perpendicular to his body.  Ken was the only one who did not seem to care whether he stayed upright.  At the moment, he was pondering the striped pattern on the ceiling.

"I'm afraid his leg is giving him some trouble," Anna said.  She reached over and laid a consoling hand on Ken's forehead.  "He thinks he probably slept on it wrong.  But it should be better after he walks on it for a while."

"Excellent." Johnny motioned toward the map on the table.  "Phoebe and I have been discussing battle strategy, but I fear we are no closer to having a plan.  In our previous conference, you said we were outnumbered."

"I fear it is true, Your Highness."  Carrie shook her head miserably.  "How many soldiers do you have under your command?"

"Ninety-five."

"Does that figure include a near-sighted sheep?"

The prince flushed slightly and averted his eyes.  "Shep has his talents.  Most of them more fit for ... um... a peaceful farming life, perhaps."

"So ninety-four."

"For all practical purposes, yes."

"We are outnumbered ten to one, at least!" Samantha exclaimed.

In the silence that followed, everyone pondered these odds with a sense of growing dread.  Carrie, Samantha, and Anna gazed at each other in despair.  When they had first stumbled into the Doll Kingdom camp, they had felt fortune favoring them at last.  But now, it seemed that even this hope had been squashed like the pillows underneath them.  A small band of knights and archers and an elderly sheep were no match for the vast Barbarian army.  It would be madness to even attempt an attack.

"I ... I suppose we had better retreat then." Carrie choked out the words over the lump in her throat.  "Perhaps at... at... your castle, a defense could be mounted...."

"NEVER RETREAT!"

The whole company started and turned to see Phoebe.  She had leaped to her feet and was standing in the corner of the tent with her fist raised, her black curls frizzed out wildly behind her.  Her eyes glowed with battle glory as the song of the minstrel played triumphantly in her mind.

"My wife is right," Johnny observed calmly.  "It is too early to talk about retreat!"

Phoebe nodded firmly and resumed her chair, drumming her fingers cheerfully on the table to keep time with the ballad.

"What we need is some advantage," the prince continued.  "Some edge over our enemy.  Can you give me anything?  Is there some weakness among the Barbies that we can use to our advantage?  Is there a division in their ranks?  A particular lapse in their battle strategies?  Anything?"

The princesses all thought hard.

"They sleep at night..." Samantha ventured.

"No good at all," said Anna. "They always post their Kens as sentries."

"Well, the Kens then," said Carrie.  "They are not very bright."  She glanced at Ken. "No offense."

Ken did not even seemed to notice the remark.  He was swinging his sore leg slowly back and forth  over his head as if trying to work out the kinks.

"Kens are not particularly intelligent, but they are loyal," Anna observed thoughtfully.  "I do not think they approve of the looting, but even so, they would warn the Barbies of an attack.  Perhaps the greed of the Barbies is a weakness, if only we can think how to exploit it.  They do love clothes more than anything in the world."

"I would think they love their shoes most of all," Ken suddenly remarked, flexing his knee first one way and then another distractedly.

"Will that help us?" Johnny inquired.

"No!" Anna declared, her voice edged in frustration.  "It only makes the Barbies more horrible!"

Ken raised his head from the cushion to fix her with a slightly injured expression.  "Well, you can hardly blame the Barbies, dearest Anna.  Their feet are so deformed from walking in those spiky shoes that they cannot unbend their ankles.  They must have their shoes or they can barely hobble around on their toes."

This was a long speech for Ken.  He sank back on his pillow in exhaustion at the end of it.

The rest of the company stared at him.

"Are you saying..." began Phoebe.

"... that the Barbies..." broke in Johnny.

"... CANNOT FIGHT WITHOUT THEIR SHOES?" they both exclaimed in unison.

Ken, who had drifted into staring at the striped pattern of the tent roof again, glanced at Anna in consternation, unsure how to handle the fact that the conversation was still going on and had now turned in his direction.

Anna struggled out of the depths of her cushion and knelt down beside him.  "Ken, dear," she said gently, "are you quite sure of what you are saying?  The Barbies have deformed feet?"


Ken seemed encouraged by her demeanor.  He sat up with new confidence.  "Yes, Anna, my sweet.  Have you never notice how they stagger when they take their shoes off?  They cannot unbend their ankles.  Tiffany's third cousin Chelsea once lost a whole trunk of shoes in a river, and her Ken had to carry her for three days until new shoes were finished.  It would have only taken three hours, but she insisted on having them embroidered with 120 pink pearls.  We could not find a pink oyster, and there was all kinds of trouble."

The four princesses and the prince glanced at each other with new hope in their eyes.  For a moment, no one dared even say it.

But at last, Phoebe blurted out the thought on everyone's mind:  "So all we have to do is steal their shoes!"

Ken picked at a bit of dust on his cushion.  "I've always wondered why no one tried that," he murmured.

"Ken!"  Anna exclaimed.  "You are our hero!"

"Me?" Ken's eyes opened wide.  "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure!"

"Well, then," Ken muttered vaguely, "imagine that!"  And he leaned back on his cushion and smiled contentedly at the stripes on the ceiling.

Next:  The raid.

Chapter 6: Prince Johnny and his Bride

Prince Johnny and his newly-wed bride stared intently at the map spread out on the table between them.  "We are right here," Johnny said, marking their mountain camp with a pin.  "Here is the capital of Aldervia, and according to the princesses, the Barbies have their primary encampments here, here, and here."  He forcefully drove more pins into the map.  "However," he added.  "From what they said, it was a fluid situation.  The Barbies had already moved their main forces into the palace gates."

Princess Phoebe nodded and ran her hands through her black curls thoughtfully.  She was a woman of few words, but no one in his right mind mistook her silence for cowardice.  Johnny had met her last year on a dragon hunt.  He first sighted her through his binoculars as she stood in the doorway of a dragon cave, her hair singed and smoking.  He had rushed to the rescue of what he had assumed was a damsel in distress.  As he had leaped into the cave shouting, "PRINCE JOHNNY TO THE RESCUE!", Phoebe rapped him over the head with a big stick and reprimanded him sharply for waking her baby dragon, who had just gone down for a nap.

Phoebe was a superb hunter when she needed to be.  Her arrows never missed their mark. But she did not like hunting for hunting's sake.  When she found a baby dragon whose mother had been killed by knights proving their valor, she was disgusted with all the useless bravado that had rendered to poor creature motherless.  She coaxed the tiny dragon into a cave and made him comfortable with a fire-resistant blanket.  She brought him fresh water and meals of chickens and an occasional cow.  The dragon grew fat and healthy.  As soon as he was old enough to leave the cave, he followed Phoebe everywhere.  She called him 'Marley,' and took him with her on adventures.

Most men found Phoebe intimidating.  She carried a bow and quiver of arrows over her shoulder wherever she went.  She wore a red cloak that billowed in the wind, revealing the dagger strapped to her waist.  Her hair frizzed out, heat-scorched from the occasional unexpected burp emitted by her pet dragon.  She wore dainty pink shoes tied with silver laces, but the skirt above them was riddled with carelessly patched burns. Phoebe loved her dragon.  She considered a few scorches here and there a badge of pride in the ownership of such a beautiful and endearing creature.  Not everyone saw it that way.   As she skipped daintily along the town streets with the dragon trotting behind her, a whole bevy of men who had once composed odes to her ebony curls and her ruby lips fled at her approach, muttering under their breath things that sounded more like curses than love poems.  Every man, that is, until Prince Johnny.

Johnny found Phoebe fascinating.  As he recovered from the blow to his head in the entrance of her dragon cave, he watched her.  She reassured the startled dragon, rearranged his blanket, and stroked his scaly neck, gently humming lullabies until the creature yawned a stream of thick smoke and settled down to his nap again.  Johnny decided then and there that he would marry Phoebe.  The next day, he brought Marley a feast of wild goat as an apology.  The dragon forgave him at once, with such a snort of approval that he accidentally scorched Johnny's eyebrows.  Phoebe took a little more time to convince, but Johnny was persistent, and she gradually developed a more favorable opinion of him.

And so here were Johnny and Phoebe, newly married, and huddling over their battle plans in the Doll Kingdom encampment.  Marley had been left home, much to Phoebe's disappointment.  Due to an underdeveloped smoke pharynx, young dragons often swallow too much air while they are consuming their dinner, and so they spend their post-meal hour sporadically belching flames.  The volunteers in the Doll Kingdom Rescue Brigade firmly asserted that they could not be expected to focus on their duties amid the interruption of unexpected blasts of fire.  Phoebe complained that they ought to be more understanding of a dragon's adolescent development.  However, she agreed to leave the dragon in the care of the castle guard.  The castle guard muttered that dragons might prove far more useful in a Rescue Brigade, but they were sworn to protect the prince and his loved ones, whoever those loved ones might be, and so they stitched together flame-resistant undergarments and grimly undertook the task as their duty.

Without Marley, Phoebe was a little restless, but otherwise, she was as comfortable in a battle tent as she would have been in a castle.  "There's nothing for it except to attack the city from the west," she said.  "I do not know why we are still talking about this.  We can't attack from the north because of the river."

"They will be expecting an attack from the west," Johnny pointed out.  "We are outnumbered.  We need to surprise them to gain an advantage."

"Well, if we were going to surprise them, we should have brought Marley," Phoebe remarked irritably. "Everyone is surprised by Marley."

Johnny glanced at her sympathetically, but his mind was too occupied to involve itself in that topic again.  "If only we had an advantage," he murmured.  "Some secret weapon."

"We should talk to the Aldervian princesses," Phoebe suggested.  "They have been around Barbies.  Perhaps the Barbies have some weakness that we haven't considered."

Johnny shook his head.  "If they did, don't you think it would have been used already, my dear?  These Barbarians travel like a swarm of locust from one city to the next, and no one can defeat them.  I fear this is destined to be a futile expedition."

Phoebe shrugged resolutely.  "So be it.  We will fight them anyway.  Perhaps our resistance will discourage them from attacking the Doll Kingdom."

"I admire your courage, darling," he said.  "Courage without a plan makes for a brilliant last stand about which wandering minstrels compose ballads for hundreds of years.  But it rarely ends well for anyone besides the minstrels."

"I wonder what they will sing about me," Phoebe mused thoughtfully.  She was a woman given to heroic imagination, and the word "ballads" had set her off again.

"Perhaps we could slip in under cover of darkness.  Perhaps in a good thick mist," muttered Johnny.  "The city is near a river after all."

"Oh, Phoebe was a girl with smoky eyes, and she tried to take the Barbies by surprise," sang Phoebe with gusto.  "On a silent morn under cover of mist, she stood upon the battlefield with an upraised fist..."

"I'd really prefer you lie flat behind a large boulder, dear," murmured Johnny.  "You'll only attract arrows by standing on a battlefield with an upraised fist."

"In the heat of the battle, with arrows flying round, Phoebe lay behind a boulder with her chin to the ground..." Phoebe corrected herself.  Then she shook her head in discontent.  "My fist must come into it somewhere.  For a heroic ballad, I must be able to rap somebody on the head."

"You do have a talent for that," Johnny said affectionately, rubbing his own head at the memory of the lump she had given him when they met.  "I expect it will find its way into the ballad somewhere."

At that moment, a voice from outside the tent called, "Their majesties Princess Carrie, Princess Anna, and Princess Samantha seek an audience with Prince Johnny and Princess Phoebe."

"Ah, good... perhaps we shall have some helpful information," the prince said to his wife.  And then, "Bid the princesses welcome!" he called to the sentry.

Next:  Chapter 7:  Ken surprises even himself

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor

Princess Samantha and Princess Carrie grew up in a tiny country, northwest of the Doll Kingdom, and it was called Aldervia. Aldervia was a beautiful land, situated in a wide, grassy valley bordered by towering, snow-capped mountains. A waterfall that plummeted down the face of the eastern mountains became a broad shallow river that wound through the center of the valley. On the southern side of this river and at the base of the waterfall was the capitol city of Emerett, where Carrie and Samantha lived.

The two princesses could not remember their father and mother, because they had died when the two girls were very young. Their cousin Rodney was now the ruler of Aldervia. He was a little older than the princesses, so he had been given the throne when Carrie and Samantha's father had died, with the stipulation that he would hand the royal crown over to Samantha (who was the oldest of the two girls) as soon as she turned eighteen. Samantha and Carrie did not much care for their cousin Rodney. He was a sleepy, slovenly young man who frequently thought more about his dinner and the state of his clothes than he thought about his kingly duties. The sisters were, however, very attached to one another, and they loved their home in Emerett. They especially enjoyed taking long walks into the evergreen forest on the mountainside behind the royal house. They would often leave very early in the morning, taking a picnic lunch with them, and they would hike for hours up the side of the mountain. At lunchtime, they would find a rocky craig on which they could sit and view all of Aldervia spread out below them--green forests, wide fields of grass dotted with farmhouses, and the city of Emerett with its busy marketplace and the great royal house. Finally, the girls would begin the long walk home, arriving back at the royal house just as the fiery rim of the sun sank below the western mountains.

The morning after one of these hikes, Carrie and Samantha sat at the breakfast table, waiting impatiently for their cousin Rodney to come down for breakfast. It was well past nine, and they were very hungry, by the time he appeared at the top of the stairs. He was, as usual, impeccably dressed, but still bleary-eyed with sleep.

"Good morning, cousins," he said, as he slid into his place at the table.

"It is almost nine-thirty, Rodney," Carrie grumbled. "Whatever kept you so long?"

Rodney yawned. "Nine-thirty? My, but these clocks do get on fast. But don't blame me, my dears. T'was the fault of that dratted washing-woman. I had to try on three suits this morning before I found a proper one. The first had a wrinkle in the leg. The second was missing a button. A button! Can you imagine my anxiety when I almost came down to breakfast without a button on my sleeve?" He yawned again. "This means a trip to the tailor and all sorts of bother ... My dears! Do not touch the toast! I have just taken a bite, and it is intolerably cold!"

"It was warm when we put it on the table, Rodney," Samantha patiently explained. "But it got cold while we waited for you."

"Nonsense," Rodney replied. "The cook has deceived you, dear cousin. 'Tis a fact that toast does not grow cold in a mere hour's time. This is simply inexcusable. I must find us another cook."

Happily, at this point in the conversation, they were interrupted by a timid knock at the dining room door. The porter entered nervously, twisting his scarlet hat in his hands.

"Well?" Rodney demanded.

"Excuse me for the interruption, Sire," the porter mumbled hurriedly, "but King Darrell from Norland has arrived unexpectedly and is waiting at the gate."

Rodney rose indignantly. "Porter, how often have I warned you not to disrupt my breakfast with trifling matters?"

"B-but Sire," stammered the porter, "K-king Darrell ..."

Samantha intervened. "Show the king into the parlor," she said.

As the porter withdrew, she turned to Rodney. "Now, Rodney,"she said "You are king of Aldervia. It is your duty to greet visiting royalty."

"Yes, I suppose it is," Rodney sighed. "'Tis a tedious business, Sam, my dear, as you will discover when you are queen. Ruling a country can be dreadfully troublesome."

"Well, we will come with you," Carrie said soothingly. "It won't be so bad."

Samantha and Carrie remembered King Darrell well from a reception they had attended in Norland two years ago. He was a stout, jolly man, well loved by his subjects. He had a blonde, pretty daughter named Anna who had befriended Carrie during their visit to the Norland royal court.

As the three entered the parlor, however, a terrible sight met their eyes. It was King Darrell, but not at all as they remembered him. He was pale and had lost weight. His shoulders stooped with exhaustion. His clothing hung loosely about him, torn in some places, and stained with mud. His toes protruded from his shoes. They stared at him aghast. He looked up slowly.

"Greetings, Your Majesties." His voice, though tired, was as polite and courtly as ever, and he bowed deeply. "Many thanks for your hospitality in receiving me so unexpectedly."

Samantha tried to collect her thoughts and murmured a greeting, but Carrie burst out, "King Darrell, whatever has happened to you?"

The king shook his head sadly and sat down on the edge of the parlor sofa. "That is a very long and sad story," he replied. "Norland has been overthrown by Barbarians."

"You don't say!" exclaimed Rodney. "Well, Sire, if it is, as you say, a long story ... well, I have not had my breakfast yet, and I am not feeling up to talking quite now. Perhaps ..."

"What my cousin means," interrupted Samantha hastily, "is that you have just had a long journey and you must be hungry and tired. Perhaps you would like to rest and eat before we talk."

King Darrell nodded. Samantha took his arm sympathetically and led him upstairs to arrange a meal and show him to the guest room.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Carrie turned to her cousin. "Oh, Rodney!" she exclaimed. "The poor king! This is a terrible shock!"

"I should say so, my dear," Rodney answered. "Imagine walking about in public with one's clothes in such a state! Very shocking indeed!"



The morning passed very tensely for Carrie and Samantha. Rodney disappeared into his office, as he often did when faced with an unpleasant situation. Samantha tried to read, and Carrie went out to tend her flower garden, but both were soon sitting back in the parlor, discussing the news of Norland's overthrow, while they waited for King Darrell to return.

At last, they heard footsteps on the stairs, and the king appeared in the doorway, bowing once again. He looked much better. Some of the weariness was gone from his face. He had bathed and was dressed in a new set of clothes that Samantha had laid out for him.

"Your Majesties!" he boomed in the voice they remembered well, "I thank you for the best respite I have had in weeks."

"You are very welcome, Sire," said Samantha, beckoning to him to sit down. "I will fetch my cousin so that we may talk of plans to assist your country."

"Ah, it is too late for that, little lady," the king replied sadly. "I have only come to warn you so that you may save your own country from those evil creatures, the Barbarians."

"Our country?" Carrie exclaimed, as Samantha hurried off to get Rodney. "Who are these Barbarians? Why do they want Aldervia?"

"The Barbarians are a race of female warriors," King Darrell answered. "They come from the nation of Barbaria, far to the south along the coast. These women fighters, often called Barbies, have subjugated the men of their tribe and forced them into slavery. These men are a race of tall, blonde, wimpy individuals, and they are all named 'Ken'. The women warriors have a strange obsession about clothes. They have long ago exhausted the resources of their own country on glittery, expensive dresses and jewelry. They have begun to wage war on other nations. Strangely, the Barbies fight mostly with their feet, on which they wear shoes with cruel spiked heels. They have conquered many nations in their never-ending quest for clothes ..."

"A quest for clothes, you say?" interrupted Rodney, who had just entered the room in time to hear the final sentence. "I'm on a bit of a quest of that sort myself, Sire. Can you believe that only this morning, I found a button missing from my .. uh ... my ..." He had suddenly noticed Carrie glaring at him. "Um ... er ... but, pray, do go on, Sire."

"The Barbies first laid siege to our border three weeks ago," continued King Darrell "Thousands of them, with the Kens following them and carrying their luggage. My army fought valiantly, but we were swiftly defeated. The Barbies overran our country. They forced all my subjects to cease their farming and work only on sewing clothes for them. They stole the crown jewels to make gaudy necklaces and earrings. They shaved our livestock to make cloth from the fur. When I protested, they cast me from the palace and forced my sweet daughter to become engaged to a ... to a ... Ken." The king's voice quavered and tears stood in his eyes. "It has only been a few weeks and already Norland is laid waste. We have no crops. Our animals are shivering. All my subjects are emigrating to other countries, and I am here to warn you of an impending invasion."

"Invasion!" Carrie and Samantha exclaimed together.

"The leader of the Barbies, a woman named Tiffany, took over the royal palace along with her chief advisor Prissy and several Kens that they brought along to do the housework. I overheard them talking in the hall the night before they threw me out of my home. They discussed plans to take over Aldervia as soon as all of Norland's resources are exhausted. I believe they will be here in a week's time."

"We must have a council of war," Samantha declared. "We must gather the advisors immediately."

Rodney shifted uneasily. "Yes, yes, a council. But do not be hasty, my dear. We have not had our lunch yet. And who can think of battle plans on an empty stomach?"

Next chapter: The Siege

Chapter 2: The Siege

Over the next few days, the roads were filled with travelers from Norland. Barefoot, ragged, and sad, they trudged along the winding paths through the hills and along the broad road that ran along the river. Some of them were followed by sheared sheep or shaved dogs or cats that shivered in the chilly evening breezes. But they never stopped for long. "The Barbies are coming!" they murmured. "They will be here soon!" And they kept going, scattering in every direction. King Darrell did not stay long either. He could not bear facing the Barbies once again, and so he joined the dreary procession out of Aldervia. After three or four days, not one of the travelers remained and the town felt eerily quiet and empty.

In the Royal house, Rodney scarcely ever emerged from his office anymore. Even his food had to be passed to him through the door. So it was Samantha that oversaw the fortification of the city and the training of the soldiers. The gates were reinforced with large timbers, the catapults were moved into place along the city walls ... but Samantha had a sick feeling in her stomach that it was not going to be enough. King Darrell had said that the enemy numbered in the thousands, and Emerett was a small city with a small armament. "I wish there was time to send to the Doll Kingdom for reinforcements," she worried to her sister. "But I fear that by the time they arrive, it would all be over, and we can't spare soldiers to make the journey. We need everyone to fight the Barbies."

And sure enough, it was only about four days after King Darrell took his leave that Carrie woke in the night to hear a shrill yell. She could not make out the words, but the sound sent a shiver down her spine. She jumped out of bed and ran to the window. In the distance, she saw the light of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of torches, moving swiftly toward the city. In the darkness, she could not see the people holding them, but again came the shrill cry, and this time, it was answered by yells from the moving invisible mass carrying the torches. There was no doubt about it--the Barbies were here.

There was no more sleep for anyone in the Royal House that night. All night, the eerie cries rang out in the darkness. The townspeople gathered in little bunches on their roofs and at windows. The horses whinnied nervously, and dogs stayed close to their masters with their ears flattened back and their fur standing on end.

As the sun finally glared over the horizon at the nervous city of Emerett, Carrie climbed to the roof and found Samantha with a telescope, surveying the army that surrounded the city. Samantha's expression held a mixture of amusement and horror. "Here," she handed the telescope to Carrie, "just look at these silly creatures, sister."

Carrie looked. "Is that ... furniture?" she said puzzled.

It was furniture. Spread out in the valley around them were a hodge-podge of chairs with frilly cushions, pink beds, ornate wardrobes, and fancy vanity tables with heart-shaped mirrors. Wagons filled with clothes and shoes sat here and there amid the odd collection. And moving between the wagons and among the furnishings were the Barbies, arrayed in fantastically extravagant evening gowns and fierce pointed shoes. Behind them, the Kens were dutifully stacking suitcases and preparing breakfast on pink flowered stoves.

Then Samantha pointed toward the road leading from the Barbie encampment to the city gates. "What is that over there?"

Four people were making their way down the road toward the city. Carrie swung the telescope over to get a better look. One of the people in the group was definitely a Barbie--tall and dressed in a silver miniskirt and knee-high boots. Behind her lagged two Kens, dressed exactly alike and carrying several bundles. The Barbie had a knife in her hand, which she was using from time to time to prod a girl who was walking in front of her to walk faster. Carrie caught her breath. "Samantha, it's Princess Anna, King Darrell's daughter! One of the Barbies is using her for a hostage. They are on their way to the city. They must want to talk to us. We need to get Rodney right away!"

Samantha ran downstairs to Rodney's office and pounded on the door.

"Go away!" said a miserable voice on the other side of the door.

"Rodney, it's Samantha!" Samantha called. "Open the door immediately!"

There was a pause.

"Samantha, dear," said Rodney's voice. "I don't suppose you are bringing my breakfast?"

"There's no time for that, Rodney. The Barbies are sending someone to talk to you. You must come downstairs at once!"

"A piece of toast?" Rodney's inquired, still not opening the door. "With perhaps a smidgen of orange marmalade?"

"Rodney!" Samantha cried. "Open the door!"

There was the reluctant sound of a bolt sliding on the other side of the door and then the door slowly creaked open a few inches. Rodney's woe-begotten eyes peered through the crack. "I simply cannot do it, Sam, dear," he whimpered. "I was never cut out for this sort of thing. Be a good girl and make excuses for me, won't you? I think I may be coming down with something--allergies, perhaps. The rain last week was dreadful for my hayfever, and now all this excitement... "

Samantha was losing patience. She threw herself against the door, pushed it open, and seized Rodney by the sleeve and dragged him out of his office.

"I say, cousin," said Rodney. "Do be careful. This shirt is fine silk. There is no need to lodge such an assault on delicate material. I am coming, of course. My country needs me." He straightened his shoulders mournfully and inched toward the stairs. "I am King of Aldervia," he said. Then he stopped and glanced back at his office. Samantha made a threatening movement toward his sleeve. "King of Aldervia!" he repeated hastily. "And I am going downstairs."

Next chapter: Princess Anna and her Ken

Chapter 3: Princess Anna and Her Ken

Samantha could hear the Barbie's high-pitched voice ringing all the way down the hall as she approached the parlor. "Anna, walk faster! Stand up straighter! Ken, don't slouch!"

Samantha glanced at Rodney. He seemed to be trying to blend in with the wallpaper. At last, the door flew open, and there she stood, her blond hair frizzed out like a lion mane, her silver miniskirt glinting in the morning sun that peered nervously through the parlor window. She waved her knife contemptuously at them. "What frumpy clothing," she said to no one in particular. Then she shoved Princess Anna into the room ahead of her. "No one make any sudden moves or this girl gets it."

Anna, who seemed more annoyed than frightened by the situation, merely rolled her eyes and moved further away from the Barbie and her random knife-waving. "Hello, King Rodney, Princess Samantha, Princess Carrie." Anna was as polite as her father. "May I introduce Tiffany, the leader of the Barbies. She has a proposal for a peaceful resolution to our little ... um... ownership dispute."

"All of your stuff is mine!" said the Barbie. "Mine, mine, mine!"

"Well ... erm ... surely, a compromise of some sort can be reached," Rodney mumbled. "While we are not opposed to providing you with certain necessities ..."

"Silence, fool!" Tiffany swung the knife around so that the blade wavered menacingly an inch from Rodney's rather prodigious nose.

For an instant, Rodney turned pale as his eyes focused on the sharp edge. Then,"I say, are those real rubies in that knife handle?" he said with fascination.

The Barbie's fierce eyes suddenly softened. "Of course," she said proudly. "And look!" She flipped it over. "Diamond on the other side."

"Intriguing!" Rodney said. "May I say, Madam, your bracelet is also truly stunning. Such perfect color coordination with the knife."

They stared at each other.

"You are wearing silk," Tiffany said.

"The finest," Rodney replied proudly. He held up his arm. "And look ... pearl buttons!"

"Oh, pu-leeze," said Anna, rolling her eyes. "If I hear one more thing about ..."

"Ken!" said the Barbie sharply. Both the Kens jumped. "No, not you two," she said impatiently. "I'm talking to that one!"

"My name is Rodney," said Rodney.

"Whatever." Tiffany waved her hand. "I think I can talk to you, Ken. Is there somewhere we can speak that is away from these ..." She wrinkled her nose. "...these silly creatures and their cotton frocks?"

"We could go to my office," said Rodney. "I have a lovely collection of tie-clips in there."

"Lead the way, Ken," the Barbie replied.

"Oh, thank heavens!" Anna breathed a sigh of relief as the sharp click of the Barbie's heels disappeared up the stairs. "That woman is intolerable. I thought I was going to scream if I had to listen to her squeaky voice one more second."

"Anna! The Kens can hear you," Carrie whispered urgently, eyeing the two men that were wandering aimlessly around the back part of the parlor, randomly picking up shiny objects and looking at them.

"Oh, don't mind them," Anna sighed. "Besides, one of them is mine. The one on the left."

"How can you tell them apart?" Samantha asked doubtfully.

"The Barbies gave me a defective one," Anna said. "They want to assimilate people and make them part of the Barbie tribe. They thought if they gave me a Ken to marry, I'd settle in. But they don't like me very much, so they gave me the one that was hit by a wagon a few months back. He has never been right since the accident. If you look close, you can see that he looks a little flattened, and his arms and legs tend to fall off once in a while."

As if on cue, Ken's left arm suddenly slipped down his sleeve and fell to the carpet with a soft thunk. He didn't even seem to notice.

"Ken!" Anna said sharply. "Pull yourself together!"

The man jumped and picked up his arm and pushed it back into his sleeve. The girls heard a soft click as it popped back in place. Then he went back to peering at his reflection in a metal button on a sofa cushion.

"He doesn't seem very bright, does he?" Carrie said. "Was he hit in the head by the wagon as well?"

"No," Anna said. "They are all like that. But he really isn't so bad once you get to know him." She eyed him thoughtfully. "I'm not saying that I really want to marry him. But he is sweet in his own way."

"What does Tiffany want to talk to Rodney about?" Samantha asked a little anxiously, glancing up the stairs.

"Well, they are hoping to avoid a battle," Anna said.

"That's good," Carrie put in. "They must not be as savage and bloodthirsty as King Darrell believed."

"Oh, it has nothing to do with wanting to avoid a fight," Anna said. "They have found that wars often destroy a lot of good clothes and furniture. By the time the fighting is over, there is sometimes little left of the nation's resources. Tiffany and Prissy consulted with some of the other top Barbies and decided that this time they would try to reach an non-aggression agreement in exchange for the right to take what they want of Aldervia's finest possessions."

"Well, perhaps that is good news," Samantha said. "We can supply the Barbies with a few things they want and they will be on their way."

Anna shook her head grimly. "I'm afraid not. The Barbies are inherently greedy. I do not think they will honor their agreement. In the end, they will not leave until they have stripped Aldervia of everything it owns."

"Then we must fight them!" Samantha declared.

Anna shook her head again, glancing with brief annoyance at her Ken in the corner who had lost interest in the button and was now solemnly tossing his left arm up into the air and catching it with his right. "You are badly outnumbered here," she said. "And you have no idea how vicious they are."

"Then there is no hope?" said Carrie in a forlorn whisper. "What ever shall we do, Anna?"

"I wish I could give you some good counsel," Anna replied. "But I'm afraid I have none. There is nothing to be done."

In the corner, her Ken paused, still holding his left arm in his right hand. "You know, Anna, my sweet," he said, "the Barbies cannot fight without their spiky shoes." And then he went back to his game.

After a brief pause, Samantha opened her mouth to say something, but just then, they all heard the click of Barbie heels. They turned and saw Tiffany making her way down the stairs. She had a triumphant expression.

Rodney followed behind her, beaming a bright smile at Carrie and Samantha.

"Good news, cousins!" he called out. "We have surrendered!"

Next chapter: The Escape

Chapter 4: The Escape

It was nearly midnight before Carrie found an opportunity to speak to Samantha again. The day was chaotic and dreadful. Barbies, wagons, and Kens had streamed through the city gates in droves before the eyes of the frightened townspeople. So far, there had been little pillaging, but only because Tiffany and her terrifying posse seemed intent upon taking inventory of the city's goods before they began their systematic ransacking. They moved from house to house with clipboards, taking notes about which homes had the finest clothes and the fanciest furniture. Anyone who dared to oppose them was dealt a swift kick with a spiked heel or a harsh punch from the fist of a Ken.

Inside the Royal House, Barbie heels echoed throughout every corridor. Tiffany had taken over the guest room for the moment, but she seemed intent upon moving herself into one of the princess rooms as soon as she determined which was most to her liking. The tension was palpable, and every time Carrie turned around, she found a Barbie sifting through her belongings. Toward nightfall, the Barbies ordered the Kens to rearrange the furniture. Fine mahogany dressers and beds were dragged out into the courtyard and replaced with vanity mirrors and beds with pink flowered headboards. At last, each Barbie arranged several dozen pairs of shoes carefully beneath her bed and laid down for the night, leaving several Kens in each room to stand guard.

At first, Carrie doubted whether it was safe to wander the Royal House, but the Kens barely glanced at her as she slipped out of her bedroom to search for her sister. She moved from room to room, whispering Samantha's name. Finally, Carrie found her in a corner of the kitchen. Samantha was filling a bag with food.

“Sam, what are you doing?” Carrie asked.

“I'm glad you found me, Carrie.” Samantha whispered back. “I was just about to go look for you. We need to get out of here. I can't reason with Rodney, and we cannot fight this battle alone. We must get reinforcements from the Doll Kingdom.”

“I'll pack some clothes,” said Carrie, turning away.

“No, leave the clothes,” Samantha said hurriedly. “They won't come after us if we don't have anything that they want. That's what Anna says.”

“Is Anna coming too?” asked Carrie.

“Of course. She is already waiting at the gate. Here ….” Samantha handed Carrie a backpack filled with food and water. “I will take this other bag. Let's hurry. If we wait around too long, they might think of a use for us. We need to get out of here before they start watching us.”

Quickly, the girls slipped out into the darkness of the courtyard. The moon was nearly full, and the pale light cast eerie shadows on the piles of furniture stacked at odd angles here and there. Cautiously to avoid tripping over a carelessly discarded drawer or bedpost, Carrie and Samantha made their way to the gate on the opposite side of the yard. As they drew near, they could see Anna huddled in the gateway, wrapped in a cloak and carrying her own small bag of provisions. When she saw them approaching, she reached up and and carefully slid the bolt back. The gate creaked just a little as it opened, and all three of them slipped through. Beyond the gate, the night was still. Barbie wagons sat unattanded with various items strewn carelessly along the road, but no one was guarding them.

Carrie drew a deep breath of relief. “Well, that was easy enough,” she said. And they set off down the road toward the mountains, walking quickly and keeping to the side of the path where the shadows of the trees kept them mostly hidden.

But they had traveled no more than a half mile when they heard a noise behind them—not the ominous click of the Barbie heels that they had all feared, but a dull thudding noise. None of them recognized the sound, but there was no doubt that, whatever it was, it was quickly gaining on them. The three girls glanced at each other in consternation and, without a word, they darted in among the trees and dropped the the ground. Holding so still that they scarcely dared to breathe and peering between the long stems of grass, they listened and watched as the thudding came closer and closer. The tall trees that lined the road cast wavery shadows that stirred with every breath of wind, but in the flickers of moonlight that streamed between the branches, they could see something moving toward them right down the center of the road. But it wasn't walking or even running. It seemed to be hopping, like a giant grasshopper or an enormous rabbit on its hind legs.

“What on earth is THAT?” hissed Samantha.

And just then, out of the shadows, sillouetted against the moonlight … “KEN!” Anna said. “What are you doing? And where is your other leg?”

Ken paused, balancing precariously on his one leg and looked around. “Anna, my sweet angel, is that you?”

The girls tumbled out of their hiding place back into the road. Anna was fuming. “We are trying to escape, Ken. Why didn't you stay back at the Royal House?”

Ken's shoulders slumped. “I … saw you leaving … I thought you might want some help carrying something,” he said. He sounded like he was about to cry.

“Oh, Anna, let him come along,” Carrie said. She was feeling sorry for Ken. “He won't hurt anything.”

“He is on one leg!” Anna exclaimed. “How can you come with us, Ken? You'll never get through the mountains on one leg.”

“I can run back and fetch it,” Ken offered. “It's only back at the last bend in the road. I tripped over a root, but I was in a hurry and didn't want to lose you in the dark.”

“Oh, alright,” Anna sighed. “Go back and get your leg. We'll wait here. Be quick about it. We're in a bit of a hurry.”

Ken perked up instantly. “Of course, dear Anna. I'll just be a moment.” He hopped cheerfully away.

“Do you really think we can trust him?” Samantha asked doubtfully. “I'm not sure of his loyalties.”

“Well, he already knows about our escape now,” Anna replied. “We may as well bring him along.”

“I think he seems very sweet,” Carrie put in. “I don't think he will betray us. And we never know … he might be helpful crossing the mountains.”

Samantha shook her head. “I still don't like it,” she said. “He came here with the Barbies. How do we know that he is on our side?”

Still, there seemed nothing for it now but to go on. And so it was that the four of them—the three princesses and the Ken with his leg reattached—set off toward the mountains, carrying nothing but a little food and the hope that they would find someone in the Doll Kingdom who would help them save Aldervia.

Next chapter: Shep, the Near-Sighted Sheep

Chapter 5: Shep, the Near-sighted Sheep

They all had to admit later that they never would have made it over the mountains without Ken. Carrie and Samantha had hiked the mountain paths so often that they had given little thought to the difficulty of the trip at the beginning, but it soon became abundantly clear that it is one thing to climb a mountain at one's leisure during the daytime, and quite another to try to cross a mountain pass in the dead of night.

After they left the main road and began the trek up the steep mountain slope, the path narrowed so that they had to walk single-file. The moon cast confusing shadows, and they could only see a few feet ahead of them. At one point, they lost the path entirely and had to backtrack to find the trail, so even in their haste, they had to go slowly.

The bag of food that had seemed so small and light at the beginning of their trip set Carrie's shoulders aching as the long hours passed. All that she could see ahead of her was the narrow dirt path that seemed, in the dark, always crisscrossed with dangerous stones and the roots of trees that caught at her shoes and made her stumble. She became so tired that she could barely think. Every muscle of her body screamed at her to stop and lay down to sleep.

Finally, she gasped and sat down on a boulder. Samantha, who was walking behind her, called to those ahead to pause for a moment.

“What is the matter, Carrie?” she asked anxiously.

“I can't keep going, Samantha,” Carrie moaned. “I'm too tired.”

“I'm tired, too,” said Samantha. “But we can't stop here. Can you try to go a little farther?”

“The bag is so heavy,” Carrie gasped. “Maybe I should leave it here.”

“But we will want the food soon,” Samantha worried.

“Does someone need help carrying a bag?” Ken's voice drifted down the path, and even in the dark, they could sense the delight in his tone.

And so they went on, with Ken carrying two bags, and then, toward the early hours of the morning, he took Samantha's also. This seemed to cheer him up, and when at last, Anna surrendered her bag, he actually started to whistle. It should have been annoying, but the effect was really quite cheering, and it helped the girls keep together and move along, even in their exhaustion.

Finally, just when Carrie had despaired of ever seeing anything but the few feet of dirt path ahead of her, the sky in the east began to grow steadily lighter. Her eyes were heavy and swollen with sleeplessness, but she told herself that surely they must have crossed the mountain pass by now and any moment they would find a place to sleep for a while.

Suddenly, the ground seemed to give way beneath her, and she found herself sliding. She had a split second to realize that she must have wandered off the path, but it was too late to save herself now. She grasped at grass stems around her, but they came loose in her hands. She slid further and then she was falling in empty space. She flailed her arms and screamed … and then she landed with a thud on something warm and soft.

“Oof!” she gasped.

“Oof!” said a voice underneath her. “Ouch!”

She lay still for a moment, staring up in confusion at the fading stars above her and wondering where she was.

“Eshushe me,” said a muffled voice. “Would you mind getting off me?”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” said Carrie, wide awake now. She scrambled off the creature that she had landed on. In the dim light of morning, she saw the unmistakable outline of a sheep.

“I'm terribly sorry,” Carrie repeated. “I didn't mean to fall on you.”

The sheep rose in a dignified manner and carefully brushed the dirt off his wool with his delicate cloven hooves. “I see,” he said, in a highly offended tone. “There is only one sheep in all the forest around here, and of all the dreadful luck, you accidentally fell on that one sheep?”

“Well, I didn't fall on purpose,” Carrie replied defensively.

Just then, she heard voices above her on the hillside calling down to her frantically. “Carrie! Carrie! Are you alright?”

“I'm okay!” she shouted up. “I fell on a sheep!”

The sheep gave her an accusing glare, and above her, there was a brief silence while the three other travelers pondered this reply.

“Carrie,” Samantha's voice called out. “Did you fall on your head? Hold on, dear, we are coming down as quickly as we can.”

“I don't think they believe me,” Carrie said to the sheep.

“Shocking!” said the sheep sarcastically.

Carrie looked around at the dense tangle of underbrush around them and the steep slope down which she had just fallen. “What are you doing down here?”

The sheep drew himself up with an air of immense importance. “I am manning my look-out post.”

“Down here?” Carrie asked, puzzled.

Above her, she could hear the scrambling noises of the other three making their way down the slope and Ken's voice saying, “Now then, Anna dear, let me lower you down over that bit of rock there ...”

The sheep coughed. “Well, there are many places that one can man a lookout, and while some locations may be more advantageous than others ….”

“You fell down, too, did you?” Carrie said.

“I suffer from myopia,” said the sheep in a stern and dignified tone. “It is a genetic affliction.”

“You are near-sighted?”

“I prefer the term 'myopic', but yes,” said the sheep.

“How long have you been down here?” asked Carrie.

“I wandered off the path shortly before nightfall,” the sheep replied. “It is a treacherous bit of road, and I am unfamiliar with this part of the forest. It was hardly my fault, especially considering my unfortunate affliction.”

“I suppose it was lucky that I fell on you then,” said Carrie. “Who knows how long you might have been down here otherwise?”

“Nonsense,” the sheep replied. “My fellow soldiers will be looking for me shortly when I do not return from my lookout post. I would have received assistance quite soon enough without the enormous bruise on my back, thank you very much.”

At that moment, Anna's face appeared over the ledge just above them. “Hello, Carrie, “ she said. “You were serious about the sheep after all! Lucky that you fell on a sheep!”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” said the sheep, rubbing his back with one of his hooves.

“I'm sorry, Mr. Sheep,” said Anna. “That was insensitive of me. Carrie, what is your friend's name?”

“We haven't been formally introduced,” the sheep interrupted. “But I am Shep. Captain Shep of the Doll Kingdom Rescue Brigade.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Anna. “Give me your hand and I will help you back up to the path.”

“I don't have hands,” Shep replied stiffly.

Nevertheless, he extended his foreleg to Anna, and Ken caught Carrie's hand, and with a little awkward scrambling, the entire group was soon back on the path again. By now, the rim of the sun had risen over the horizon, and they could see that they had indeed crossed over the mountain pass. Behind them rose the imposing face of the mountain. Below them, an unfamiliar valley stretched out to the horizon, and far away and to the south, Carrie thought she could make out the faint line of the seashore. Ahead and to the left of the path, there was a meadow and a stream, and across the stream, a group of tents were pitched in a circle.

But she had only a minute to take it in.

“Dear me!" A voice rang out behind them. “Captain Shep, you do know that those people are not your fellow soldiers, don't you?”

They turned around. A tall, lanky man, eccentrically dressed in a brown tunic with huge buttons and brilliant red checkered stockings, stood on the path behind them. His face was rosy and damp, as if he were just returning from a wash in a cold mountain creek.

“Your Highness.” Shep bowed his woolly head ever so slightly. “These travelers … er … stumbled on my lookout post during the night.”

Anna snickered.

The sheep twitched his ears back in annoyance. “They stumbled on my lookout post,” he reiterated forcefully, “and, as a precautionary measure, I am bringing them to Your Highness for inquiry.”

“I see.” The tall man pushed a jaunty red cap aside to scratched his head, and he glanced at the group with some evident embarrassment. “Welcome, ladies,” he said politely, “and to you also, “ he added, turning to Ken, who had bent down to pluck a dandelion. “I hope that my … er … visually-challenged sentry didn't delay your travels.”

“Not at all, sir,” Anna replied. “We are quite indebted to your quick-thinking captain for saving our dear friend and sister Carrie from a rather nasty fall. Had he not been there to catch her, she might have landed on her head.”

“Is that so?” the man replied, smiling incredulously.

Shep drew himself up proudly. “Quite so, Your Majesty. You can always count on your trusty lookout in time of need.”

“Well, then, I am glad we could be of help to you,” said the tall man. He extended his hand. “My name is Epaphroditus.”

“That's an unusual name,” Ken said, dropping his dandelion to shake hands with the stranger.

“It's from Philippians,” the man responded. “Not many people know that. But you can call me Paffy.”

“KING Paffy,” the sheep corrected him. “He is King of the Doll Kingdom, and we are traveling these parts on an important mission to come to the aid of Aldervia against the Barbies.”

Next chapter: Prince Johnny Prepares for Battle